Tuesday, January 29, 2013

A Thousand Beautiful Things

Have you ever stopped and taken the time to think about how truly magnificent life is? The perfection of it all? I've been doing that a lot lately and it has changed the way I perceive everything. I've come to realize a person's opinion of  the world is based on the prism through which they see it. If you're an angry person, believing that the world is full of assholes, then guess what?? Your world is going to be filled with assholes. If you look for opportunities to spew your venom, I promise you, you'll find them. But if you try to find the gift or the lesson in whatever occurs that day, I promise you, you can find that too.

Last weekend I was shopping in the produce section at Whole Foods when I accidentally touched a woman's head while reaching for a plastic bag. I say touched because in no way was this person injured; I doubt even a hair was knocked out of place. But her reaction was so violent and hateful all I could do was stand there, mouth agape. She began screaming at me, shouting obscenities and drawing attention to us both. I just looked at her and said with the utmost sincerity that I was sorry. I wasn't sorry about brushing up against her though. I was sorry she was so clearly a damaged soul, looking to take it out on the first person she encountered. I walked away feeling so sad. I played the scene over and over in my head throughout the day. I wondered how many times have I exploded on unsuspecting people. If this had occurred two years ago the outcome would have been much different. I would have taken off my earrings for sure and had it out with her. But what would that have solved? I would have just been filled with more rage, possibly taking it out on another person and perpetuating this cycle of anger. But, luckily for her, it happened post diagnosis...I see things differently now. I've gained not only empathy but a visceral need for a drama free life.

I spend most of my days meditating, practicing yoga and taking walks by the beach or along the Long Island Sound with a cup of hot chai tea and my dog. Some days I meet friends for breakfast or lunch and I'm home when Sean gets off the school bus. I'm aware of  how fortunate I am to be able to do this; not many people can unplug from the world in this way. I'm grateful for every minute and I don't take it for granted. I know how precious life is because I almost lost mine. Every three months I wait to hear if I'm going to get another three months. This engenders a certain heightened awareness of time and I'm not going to waste a moment being angry or in self induced chaos.

So realize we are all connected and our actions cause reactions in others. Appreciate the beautiful, amazing life you have been given. Do something beautiful and amazing with it. Don't give your time over to anger and hate. As the great Mary J Blige says...No More Drama. Save it for your mama or Michelle Obama or Wilmer Valderrama or...well, you get the idea. Namaste.

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