What have I done in the last two years?
I haven't learned to cook
Or clean a house properly
I haven't house trained my dog fully
I can't throw a baseball, basketball or football
Or get my garage in order (although it's on the list)
So to answer the question what have I done, I will say this:
I've learned to love
I've broken down the wall I spent 35 years building
I've learned the past is done and guilt is a useless emotion
The future is mostly out of our control so stop worrying about it
It will be what it will be
I've learned that all we have is now
This time together
To love and to share and to connect
I won't waste it with petty, self damaging behavior
I choose to be the light and the love that lifts up those around me
I've learned that moments such as seeing my son walk across the stage to accept his diploma are the exact ones that have kept me fighting for my life.
I want more of them.
I've learned profound gratitude
I've learned what it feels like to be deeply loved by someone
Not because this is the first time I've been loved, but it's the first time I've accepted it.
I don't take each new day for granted.
When I awake every morning I say a prayer of thanks; for the people in my life, for the healing that has occurred within me, for another day of learning and sharing.
2 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer. 2 years ago my life crumbled all around me. But here I am; stronger, more compassionate, happier than I ever thought I could be.
Funny how life works, huh?
Tonight, whether we are together or not, I ask that you raise a glass and toast to life and living and love. I hold you all in my heart and I thank you.